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Day 4
I can let go now. I let go of all the pain. The trauma, I release it to move from my mind, my body, my consciousness, my heart. I’m sorry for the resentments I held. You were doing your best and everyday, I still see you try just as hard as I. I know you, cause I’m many ways, I am you. You are my father, I am your son. I love you Dad. Mom, you incredible woman. You’re going to keep being incredible, I know it. Never give up on your dreams. They are happening. To my siblings, I love y’all like y’all my kids. That will never change. I may not show it the best all the time but even when I’m off in my own world, I’ll come running if you ever need anything. To my Mother, my beautifully sensitive gentle spirited mother. Thank you for life. Thank you for the half of you that created the creative within me. Thank you for filling in the places when no one else could be there. Thank you for your sweet song. Unforgettable laugh and your free spirit. I love you all. Healing. And so it is. Part 2 Growing up Black in America. Money has always been a stress factor for most of the African American family. And with such disparities within our communities, I’ve not experienced a support system in which we really support our businesses or each other, until now. Jewish people are great at this. They create systems that support their businesses but not just Jewish people. This is something New York has done well. I didn’t understand it before, now. For me, and I assume many black people, money has always been the answer to freedom and sustainability but the truth is, it’s community. Because when hardships like this occur, it’s what we are able to do for one another that gets us through. I may be purely incorrect with this speculation and please forgive me if I offend but could it be that the holocaust taught this sense of community within the Jewish community and for black families that were sold, separated and broken for so many years by white supremacy that this never had the chance to properly exist. But then again, I’m sure the same thing happened during the Holocaust. Perhaps, this is why I love working with the Jewish community. From a young age, I was fascinated with the holocaust and how it related to slavery. I’m starting to understand my gifts and how releasing trauma is only enhancing them. Trauma is a funny thing. Sometimes facing it head on is the only way to get through it. When it comes to my creativity, when I’m not forced it flows and I end up teaching along the way. I think this is why structure bothers me so much. It’s not that I don’t have some sort of structure but it’s like this video I was watching yesterday about time, it isn’t linear. I miss NY. You’re in my heart and we will get through this together. I must go meditate, now . See you soon.✌🏾