Ever have a dream where you feel like you say everything in your head? I think I just did but I can’t remember any of it. There was a lot tho. I feel calmer this morning. More present. I can hair the sound of the overflying plane. Like actually hear it. The feeling of having to be anything seems to not exist. Tap, drip, tap, drip. The tub is making music. The point of this is to just write. Write whatever comes and right now not much is coming. The artist way says to just keep writing even if you just write I don’t know what to say over and over again until something comes. I’m about to take a dance class with my brother for 1st graders. I guess this is to get them familiar with movement from an early age. It’s a job. That’s all I’ll say. Perhaps it might be fun. I’m glad I don’t have to teach it. I get to just participate. Honestly, I don’t know what I am when I’m not creating. It seems to be the only thing I can stick to consistently. I’m not sure if I heard somewhere or made it up but I remember this quote that said if I’m not creating, I am destroying. That always resonated with me but not destroying something or someone else. Like, destroying myself. Maybe it was dying and not destroying. To be honest, that’s what it feels like. If I stray to far from creativity it’s like a switch goes off and pulls me back to something creative. I often feel pressured to teach. It’s hard to teach unless I’m teaching how to create. But I don’t really know how I do it. I think it’s definitely connected to something spiritual tho. I said once that as far as I know there are 5 Gods and they actually don’t hate each other or get jealous. They just sit up in the heavens or universe and take turns deciding who’s going to take over for a while. Like a game.😂
Day 3
5.6.20