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I’ve never woken up, not once, and wished to be a teacher. Before I go to bed and recite my affirmations, never once have I said, I am a personal trainer. To survive in the backwards world as an artist, I have to practice being everything but the one thing I want to be just to have a moment to be what I am. I don’t go live because I want to be an actor, dancer, singer, choreographer, musician, film maker. It is literally an affirmation of mine. I train to help people I care about and teach because I’m always pressured to. I chose the one career that you go to school to be one thing and end up being everything but. So if I have to do these other things, let me do it in a way that doesn’t take my energy away from what I really desire. I like making videos. So if I have to make a fitness video, let me make it, so I get to practice my editing. If I have to teach dance, let me teach it like an artist and figure out a way to make it into the art that my soul longs for. I don’t know when the job of an artist became the fulfillment of everyone else before themselves. I like creating at night but everyone else works out in the morning, so I must get up to cater to everyone else’s schedule. If I offer, let it be my choice. For whatever reason, my art isn’t contribution enough. Apparently, neither is my mind. Maybe I am complaining, maybe it seems ungrateful or maybe it’s what so many other artist feel and are unable to put into words.
Day 9

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