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Day 41
As I continue creating my piece which I have to keep the ball rolling cause I’m getting bored, I think people are looking for me to teach because they want to be apart of something creative. That is interesting but I also believe that this social media generation is at a huge disadvantage. I said this to my Tai chi teacher but the biggest problem with dance and social media dancers is that they have no consistency or discipline. I didn’t just arrive as the dancer I am today, it took years of consistent training. Now, I’m at a level where I don’t need to devote as much time to training because it’s in my body. So, here’s how this can work. I need real vogue dancers for my vogue section and pec pop, dancers . I want to post my first draft of my piece on YouTube and then can document making the actual full version. We can offer some of the rehearsals via zoom so people can participate and we stream the taping live so everyone can be included and tape the rehearsals and charge for the full breakdown. The bollywood and Tai chi section can include more diverse individuals since the movement is simpler. I’m going to sing everyday so I can return to broadway or do film since I can’t make a decent wage doing whatever it is I’m doing. I’m still going to create films either way because it’s my expression. To those who want to feel creative and dance, be consistent. Go take classes. Hell, join me in learning tai chi but you have to show up. You have to do it regularly. There is no quick way about it. And there is so much information out there, I can’t teach it all. I don’t want to teach it all. The thing with most of america is how we’ve fallen into this instant gratification mindset. Great things take time. So take the time, get sweaty, do the work and enjoy the journey. This is supposed to be fun. I went to go find a lawn to tape another section of my dance piece and I never found it but I met someone. Davide, I like saying his name. I haven’t had feelings like this for a long time. I felt safe, I finally understood what it people meant by let go. There’s a mass protest happening around the corner but I’m so tired I just came home and did nothing. I was supposed to do this acting seminar and that’s not happening either. I’m ok with it. I’m going to eat some snacks and watch some tv before recording a song. There is such intense energy in the world right now. A friend said it’s very important that I feel safe. It makes me think. What is happening? What is about to happen? I need to spend some time meditating. I’ve been trying to reach my family and they haven’t been responsive. It makes me worry. They are not perfect but I wouldn’t be ok if anything happened to them. I’m learning to trust again.

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