When I was in college, I listened to the same song on repeat for two years straight. If you asked both freshman and sophomore roommates they would tell you it was Bitter, by Meshell Ndegeocello.
I had no idea why I listened to it over and over again. It just spoke to me and was somewhat healing but now being back home, I remember. Being here is reminding me of that ex that you fondly remember but when you see each other and start spending time together you remember why it’s best that you aren’t apart of each other’s lives. But I have to train. So just suck it up, right.
I didn’t realize it until now but I fear becoming my father and to be honest, I don’t think I will. I have a strong work ethic and discipline because of him but the more I’m here the more I’m inspired to continue growing and changing. He’s not a bad man but I believe the role of the younger generation is to keep the good qualities and ask for the defects to be removed so we begin healing this perpetual cycle. I don’t match this frequency but this moment, right now is offering an opportunity to grow physically, spiritually, within myself, so I will seize that moment. My brother and sister are helping anchor and ground me. For them, I’m very grateful.