It’s been 5 days with my parents I realize my role is not entirely to heal myself but to also initiate healing.
The first couple of days were spent observing their habits. It’s strange to talk this way about my family but the truth is, is we have been estranged for some time, now. The person I have been drawn to the most is my younger brother. I thought it was because of his knowledge and passion for martial arts and we are bonding through that but the more time spent, I experience glimpses of repressed feelings. I experience behaviors that I myself have struggled with. I haven’t been able to pin point it but I sense a bit of compartmentalization. Does he feel free to experience all of his feelings?
My sister is a dancer through and through. She spends most of her time in her room watching tv or talking to her friends. Maybe that’s just a teenage girl thing. She doesn’t say much but that just may be her personality. Having had dance as my first form of communication, it does make me wonder tho.
My mom works extremely hard to balance everything. She is the anchor to the house hold but with all the responsibility on her shoulders, it’s impossible to be everything to everyone, especially herself. She has expressed wanting to get her health back on track and I’m slowly implementing dietary changes to help assist with that. She’s already eating better.
My father, tho his change has been great, is still averse to new things, so I do nothing. I start with everyone else and wait for him to peak an interest. He’s very sensitive and due to the work my mom has done with him, I can now see it. He was never given permission to feel and this is new territory for him. I can relate to the overwhelming moments of trying to express himself from my own healing experience. It can be difficult. I’m beginning to believe that the greatest healing lesson I will learn during this time is understanding. More to be discovered.