It’s so interesting how as people there is desire to label everything. I understand it’s a way we have grown accustomed to understanding things. If it has a name, somehow we can rationalize or quantify it. It’s put into some kind of category. Of lately, we talk so much about how sexuality is fluid and I as I continue doing work with adults with autism I can’t help but think the same way about “mental health”.
When I first started working with them, I kept hearing things like, they can’t express emotion, they have difficulty dancing or matching pitch and after a few months of working with them, they are doing all of these things. Now I do understand the idea of the mental illness that is a kid shooting up a school and then committing suicide or behavioral issues or like even after a child has physically exerted themselves not being able to sit still. Although, I can understand those ideas of mental illness, I still can’t help but wonder how much of that can be changed environmentally or even just with the right support.
I’m an empath. An empath is person with a hyper sensitivity to people’s emotions and energy. The sensitivity can be so great to the point that energy can be exchanged, resulting in taking on another persons energy.
Now, I understand to a lot of people who may have never experienced this or are unaware, this may sound like some kind of mental illness crap itself. Try and have an open mind.
As a child, I was beaten a lot. It’s very common when you grow up West Indian. It’s nothing I’m ashamed of or even hold Ill will toward. It’s just the way things were done. I often talk about how sensitive our bodies are and how much information they can receive and that most people are unaware of what they are able to pick up. I have a very sensitive instrument as my acting teacher put it and I can’t help but think there is a correlation between the sensitivity and childhood beatings. As I continue to heal from past traumas, I realize that a lot of them are now my greatest gifts and or kinks.
The other night I went to The Eagle and allowed a very sexy daddy to work on my nipples. I was incredibly intrigued by the size of his and expressed I’d always wanted bigger and more sensitive ones. He began sharing his knowledge if you know what I mean and for the next few days the sensations were exquisite.
Now, I’m sure you’re asking what does this have to do with mental illness?
Much of my work as a healer has dealt with helping people to stop seeing their desires or conditions as something wrong just because it doesn’t fit into a “normal” box.
And how can you take something like being beaten as a child and find pleasure in it as an adult.
I believe it’s all about the environment. The thing that was so wonderful about this dad was there was a very nurturing side to him. He whispered softly in my ear how he saw our scenarios playing out and I felt for the first time in a long time the desire to surrender.
Something I noticed when working with a lot of my students is they are constantly told what they aren’t capable of because of their disability or differently abled thinking. But I have found that most of the time they just need to either be pushed, supported or repetition. So much of their lives they have been told they can’t do these things and yet for the first time for many of them, they are.
One student that I coach one on one has grown immensely and I’m now teaching her salsa. We started with ear training, getting her to match pitch and then start recognizing rhythmical patterns. The first thing I did with her the other day when starting to teach her salsa is put on the music and ask her to move. For the first time, she picked out a musical section of the music and began to move to the notes. Her awareness was growing. A lot of my work with her has also been coaching her in to stop doubting herself and to own her power. She’s very gifted and has to stop looking for outside approval. But everything takes time.