I went to church yesterday for the first time in years. I haven’t talked a lot about my past on here but there was a period where I held a lot of anger toward the church because the message I received was I couldn’t be myself. So, I took a long break to work on healing all of that pain and I just finally decided to let it go. I realized that change is an inside job. I had to go deep down inside and unravel and let go of all the anger and hurt I was carrying around.
A wonderful thing happened yesterday. There was a young black man on the other side of the congregation, and the praise music started and he started voguing in the church because that’s who he was, that’s what he knew. It was his form of worship. And I forgot to mention that I was dressed in my Indian Kurta. It’s one of the favorite pieces of clothing I own and I look good in it. The church always says, come as you are and so I did.
There is so much anger toward the churches right now and rightfully so but as I was sitting and listening to the sermon, I realized that change is an inside job. Seeing that other boy vogue, me wearing my kurta, unapologetically and deciding to be there because this is a part of who I am is how we will start to change the minds of others. I believe change is most affective when we spend time communing, experiencing and allowing ourselves to be experienced person to person. We can be vocal and bring awareness of the wrong doings but ultimately we have to step forward and create the change we want to see.
Disclaimer: Some people are not in situations where this is a possibility so don’t put yourself there, but for those of us who can, we speak for those without a voice.